happy monday everyone!
SO I FOUND RACIST HOBBITS THIS WEEKEND.
yes, that's right. hobbits! racist! @tanagandhi & @razberry28 and i were strolling along rather innocently, searching for a place to eat, when LO AND BEHOLD, we come upon a restaurant called The Hobbit. color us intrigued, dear friends. COLOR US INTRIGUED. we decided we would give The Hobbit a chance. we decided we would DINE at The Hobbit. we decided we would give The Hobbit our hard-earned monies in exchange for the satiation of our hunger!
AND YET! WE COULDN'T FIND A WAY INSIDE.
The Hobbit had a very distinct (and rather beautiful) entryway -- secluded, covered in vines, stained glass windows and a set of very deep, dark wood doors. business hours stated that The Hobbit was open for hungry travelers! but, alas, the doors were sealed shut. there was a piece of paper taped to the adjacent brick wall that said the main entrance was around back, and that we should "Ring the bell for assistance."
BUT THERE WAS NO BACK ENTRANCE TO BE FOUND.
we rounded and rounded the building to no avail until we noticed small, crumbly looking windows (PERFECT FOR SMALL, CRUMBLY HOBBITS!) and one tiny-looking door (PERFECT FOR TINY-LOOKING HOBBITS!) about an inch from the ground, smudged with dirt and decay. and upon closer inspection? we noticed a pair of storm cellar doors surrounded by dead shrubbery, seemingly useless and entirely clamped shut. the doors were half-covered by an old sign with the words "The Hobbit" emblazoned across the wooden plank.
we assumed this was the back entrance the earlier note was referring to.
AND THEN WE RAN FOR OUR LIVES.
upon reflection, we discovered three things:
1. Hobbits definitely exist.
2. Hobbits are the sketchiest creatures ever.
3. HOBBITS ARE TOTALLY RACIST on account of their not allowing regular human-sized people into their restaurants, and also because of this:
|actual photo taken with actual camera not belonging to a hobbit.|
how was YOUR weekend?
UPDATE: i kid you not, dear friends, WITHIN MINUTES of me posting this? someone from New Zealand (NEW ZEALAND IS TOTES HOBBIT COUNTRY, JUST FYI) searched keywords "The Hobbit" and came across my blog. if this isn't proof that hobbits are now watching and tracking my every move, i don't know what is.